Reflections from Friends of the Program

Burke O’Brien, a loved and respected member of the Northwaters and Langskib family was shot and killed in New York City on January 12th of this year [2003]. Burke was 25 years old.

In 1988 Burke first stepped on the dock at Langskib to begin his long career. At 10 years old, the newly arrived Viking have already perfected his deep easy laugh and is signature “whoop” which conveyed his unforgettable energy and enthusiasm, and captured the hearts of those around him.

Burke’s presence was huge and captivating-you never wondered if he was on the island.

For a generation of young people, he was the first person they met on the dock, he was the one who taught them the meaning of courage, to find the joy in everyday, to embrace their challenges, push their limits, and listen to their hearts. He is their hero.

Burke was the kind of person who had time for everyone, and had the special ability to touch the hearts of anyone he came in contact with.

You never just knew Burke-if you had met him once you were affected by his warmth, humor and kindness. As a trip-leader at NWL., as a person, and as a friend Burke led and lived from his heart. His life is an example to us all.

We miss Burke-we miss him beyond words. His was a bright, bright passionate light. His legacy will live on through our lives and those many, many young people who were touched by his enormous heart

TEETH TO THE WIND BURKE MAN, WE LOVE YOU

Burke was a mentor, teacher, and friend,
So much of the leader I am at Langskib was derived from the time I spent with Burke. He loved the natural beauty of the Canadian wilderness with a conviction only seen in the Langskib tradition by which he was raised. There is no one who epitomizes the philosophy of Langskib more than Burke. He was strong, respectful of the environment, and a leader among leaders, and instilled in his participants a deep sense of respect for the land and living creatures as we pass on our journey wilderness journey. But above all, he had a sense of adventure. He was always hopping off the beaten path, finding new routes, and trying to emphasize to his kids that they needed to find their own path and to walk in life; not settle for status quo.

As a friend, Burke and I spent many boat & van rides moving campers, gear, and trash from base camp. It was here that I discovered Burke’s passion for debate. Whether discussing Canada-US relations, OPECs control on energy consumption globally or why we should be able to have a beer with dinner while in camp session, there was never a dull moment. Burkes’ unconditional pride and love for Raurie and Carleigh [his sister’s] is something I noticed for years. Seeing them together after Carleigh’s Bay trip this year was a really special moment. I will forever keep a special place in my heart for my friend Burke O’Brien

John Booth

Mariah O'Brien

My Little Brother

I am the only person on that can call Burke my little brother. He only admitted this once in his life . Actually, I can not remember a time in my life when he was not around since we are so close in age. To me he was my partner. I walked through my life always knowing that I had him by my side and there to protect me. I felt safe when ever he was around. If ever I felt like the world did not make sense it all I had to do was make a call to him or yell downstairs and he was always there to straighten things out for me. He had a way of letting me know that everything made sense and everything would be OK. He could look at a situation with such a worldly manner and my issue would just vanish. He could turn my tears in to a smile almost instantly. All he had to do was walk in the room or answer the phone and I automatically felt better. He would flash his BIG smile at me and I knew I was safe. He would open his BIG arms for a hug and I knew I was loved. The world was not so scary then.
Whenever Burke would come home he would never tell anyone he was coming. He would surprise us as he pulled up with a friend he had gotten a ride with. His BIG Eyes glimmering as he made his way up the path to the door with a duffle bag. He was home. Sometimes I wish that he is still trying to pull a fast one on us and he is one day going to walk up the front walk with his BIG heart, his BIG hugs, and his BIG smile. Now that I think about it he was right. He was my BIG brother. He will always be my BIG brother and my protector. Now, he can look down on me from heaven and keep me safe. I guess he knew the truth all along.

Rebecca G. DiCola

I have so many wonderful memories of Burke, starting from the time he was only two. Even at such a young age its amazing how much personality he had. That great, big mischievous grin. The glint in his eye, and the adventurous and fearless nature that would stay with him his whole life.

Being with Burke was the most fun you could ever have. Whether it was dancing all night in a crowded bar, galloping across a green field or waiting in line to use the phone. Burke made everything fun. He made getting a cup of coffee and adventure. He had a zest for life that was unmatched.

He could have had such a big head. He was so beautiful, so gorgeous, athletic, smart and yet was so grounded., so sensitive, and so caring. He never wanted to talk about himself. He was always more interested in finding out how you were. He touched so many people n so many ways. All for the better. Burke led by example, and he was contagious. He made you want to be a better person, try crazy things and live life to the absolute fullest!

Will - Langskib

Burke-

Heeeey. I miss you man. You were truly the greatest man I knew, and next to my parents, the biggest role model. You always said that you had too much “north” in you, but I don’t think you saw the amazing amount of “South” that you possessed. You were the most self-less person I knew. You taught me the lessons with which I try to live my life by. As I mentioned in my last e-mail to you, I am striving to live my life with as much integrity as I can.

Last night I realized how lucky I was to have been able to go out on trail with you. The “New York Times,” described you as a “Camping counselor for an organization that took city children on trips to Canada, Where you taught them canoeing and camping skills.” That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Sure, you taught us how to run white-water and how to cook bannock quickly, but that was only the beginning. You taught us to do what was right, even if there isn’t anyone around to see you or thank you.

Langskib will not be the same without you. However, in a couple of years a new breed of trip-leaders by the names of “Win, Will, Conner, Kristof, Max, and Simon, “ will come up through the ranks and begin to lead trips. Sure, we’ll teach them some “Canoeing and camping skills,” but ,more importantly, we will pass on the lesson you gave to us. Hopefully, we’ll have as big an impact on them as you had on us, so when they become trip leaders, they too will pass on ides like integrity. You may physically be gone, but your memory will never leave me. Teeth to the Wind.

Will

Gabriel Krenza

To me Burke was a man that had an unlimited amount of strength, tenacity, and power to get done what needed to get done. He loved helping and teaching and he was the most motivated person I have ever known. When I was 14 I did the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I went up to Canada alone and participated in a three-week canoe expedition with seven other kids my age, and Burke into the most intense isolated wilderness I have ever experienced. On this expedition I was faced with many struggles including carrying a canoe that was probably half my body weight, eating food that was cooked by myself and other boys my age (many times till is was burnt into a solid block in a pot), portaged a canoe over land where I would sink up to my chest in mud, spent most of the nights in a cold, wet sleeping bag, peeled blisters off my hands that seemed to never stopped appearing because of constant paddling, and I was feeling terrifyingly homesick. Needless to say, at 14 I was having the most miserable, uncomfortable and painful time I had ever had. I would cry myself to sleep every night, because I had no one to lean on, I had to carry my own weight. Burke saw me and saw how much of a tough time I was having. Burke being the leader of this trip, I naturally looked to him for some kind of advice. When he spoke to me his words hit me in the heart. I told him what I was sad about with my homesickness and feeling incompetent at carrying a canoe. He told me that strength was from your heart not your muscles and that when you live your life centered in your heart you will have strength to complete any task. Burke said, “ sadness is when you live your life in the past, live your days one at a time and with patience and your upset will disappear. Live in the present.” From that day on I took his advice to heart and since then I have not regretted a day of my life. The work that Burke did with me to make my first conquest to Canada the most memorable and life-changing event in my life, has stayed with me throughout my life. Burke was a man that was true to his word. His spontaneity inspired me to choose many things in my life that I would not have done if I did not live my life in the present. Burke was a true roel model and I looked up to him, as I am sure many did, as a big brother. I love Burke O’Brien and he stayed with me in my mind and will always be in my heart.

-Gabriel Krenza
Led by Burke O’Brien ‘98 and ‘99

Rod Napier - January 12th, 2003

Dear Barbara and Mark and Family,

I was one of the hundreds of people who knew Burke a little but upon whom he left an indelible memory. I have been related to Langskib as on of the founders of the Temagami Experience for nearly twenty-five years. During that time, on several occasions, I have has the extraordinary good fortune of engaging many of Lngskib’s young leaders in a d number of leadership development programs. As a group they provide me with every bit as much as I provide them. They are the best of the best - optimistic, idealistic, open, demanding, though in spirit and mind and always willing to look deeply at just what does it mean to be a leader. The fact that they are responsible for young lives in wilderness situations also couches their idealism in terms of a very practical reality.

Burke was among the very best of these amazing young people. He stood for just what Langskib has always been about. He was uncompromising in wishing to give each of his young charges a powerful experience in being purposeful, focused and responsible for their own actions as part of a team. He did this by being tough minded, unyielding and demanding in what he truly believed was a privileged and opportunity for each. And, yet, at the same time, he always acted with care, humor and compassion.

Beyond this I knew Burke as someone willing to dig deep in search for true meaning in his own young life. As an old gray beard, he provided me with light and perspective in nearly every conversation we had- a fresh view wrapped n his special brand of passion with which he seemed to face every question of his young life.

This spring a colleague and I will publish a book entitles The Courage to Act. It’s about how team leaders can imbue their teams with courage. Burke will remain an example to me of someone who embodied the five characterizes we believe essential to such leaders. He was extraordinary purposeful in his actions. He had the ability to give to others the will to do whatever necessary to insure success - it is the can do attitude that Burke lived everyday. He was disciplined, committed to a certain rigor that demanded an unswerving dedication to the highest standards. Anyone who ever tripped under his leadership experienced this. He helped others become selfless - working for the good of the team and never complaining at taking risks for the good of others. And, finally, Burke always put the truth out ahead of himself. He spoke with candor and was willing to stand for what he believed was right whether it was popular or not.

These characteristics are found in few leaders - they usually take years to develop. Burke had them all. Those who had the good fortune to experience them in him, were privileged indeed.

With affection to you and sadness at your loss,

Rod Napier

The words of those who knew him speak volumes about how his spirit will forever live in the hearts of others. This section is devoted to the words of those who experienced Burke in life.

-Burke O'Brien-

Descriptive Essay
Marty Burke 8-B

A cousin; an athlete, a friend, a Burke, lying in his best clothes, blue-green eyes not seeing the friends, the family closest to him, coming to see him for the last time. Sadness and gloom fill the chamber in which he lay. Roses surround him in this bleak and dreary chamber. Pain in the faces of the ones whom he loved; suffering visible in all who kneel before him, saying one last goodbye to a wonderful young man that was so close to their hearts.

The walls; morose, creating a sense of melancholy in all its similarity. The furniture; dour, uninviting, oppressive. Pictures fill this room, telling tales of a life, however transient it may seem, that had been full of happiness, friends, and love.

His clothes seem depressing in the sullen environment of the funeral parlor, blues mixing with the attitudes of those present. His cold hands are folded drably atop one another, as if in prayer. Atop soft sheets of satin like snow in a box of polished wood, he lies, waiting for the next relative, bosom friend, or even acquaintance, to come forth to pray for him.

His face is serene; he is in peace now, as if earthly troubles, pains, and desires are now beyond his charge. His expression is composed, radiating a peace that can only come from those who lie in the polished wooden carrier that is lined with the pure, white fabric.

His skin, the waxy complexion is a semblance of the attitude of those present. In the way he lies in his porter, he reflects a certain inner placidity that is not seen in those who have not truly accomplished the tranquility of heart that this man did. His eyes, closed, as if he were asleep; peaceable to those who love him, to see that he is now untroubled, free from pain.

-Burke O’Brien-
When through one man
a little more love
and goodness,
a little more light
and truth
come into the world-
then that man’s life
has had meaning.

Recent Reflections


Mariah O'Brien
Rebecca G. DiCola
Will - Langskib
Gabriel Krenza
Rod Napier - January 12th, 2003

-Burke O'Brien-
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